My Choices, My Work, My Reasons--A Reflection Paper

Welcome to my looking glass!

When someone asks me to describe myself, it always gives me pause to consider what my nebulous reflection might look like to the one asking. I can say that I am a 51 year-old mother of 5, but that always makes me feel like I am just spouting statistics and sharing very little of myself. Telling the questioner that I have been a breeder of working line German Shepherds for well over 16 years tells them a little about my career and perhaps allows them some material for imagining the typical tasks of each of my days, but that answer scarcely comes close to encompassing even half of who I am. I might say I was married for just shy of 30 years, and add, too, that I recently sought and obtained a divorce. Unfortunately, those two facts might send a confusing message, and besides, they seem to beg more questions than I am probably willing to answer. I might, too, share that I have returned to college after an absence of several decades to get my degree in Entrepreneurship. Along that line, I could point out that this degree is helping me to shore up my business and ensure that I can continue to support my family for the long term, not just for the here and now.

Furthermore, I could offer to the inquirer a brief family history—I came from a very loving, close-knit Dutch family and want to pass on that heritage of family strength to my own children. For a spiritual description, I might confess my ardent, but necessarily flawed Christian faith—I am one who tries hard to live by the Golden Rule, but ends up stumbling far more than I would like. Certainly, I can go the route of current family events and use that as a springboard for self-description; I could share that just two weeks ago, I found out that both of my daughters are going to be married in the next 6 months. But at most, while providing a clue to both my current emotional and mental state, those details reveal little else. All of these things are true about me, but because human beings are by nature multifaceted, I realize the impossibility of simplifying my whole self into a couple sentences. However, by uniting all these little sentences, understated and perhaps even statistical as they may be, I can hope that those seeking a glimpse of ‘me’ will find some reward.

I long looked forward to taking English 101-D. I find that people either passionately love to write, or they hate it vehemently. I fall into the first category. I have always written, and always will write, with or without an audience. It sounds terribly dramatic, but I write because I must. The difficult part for me is not in the writing itself, but in learning to write well. Through the guidance of our instructors and the course discussion boards, I have learned to read the words of others, as well as my own, with a more critical eye. I have learned to construct a strong thesis statement, as well as the means to support it. I have also learned that submitting your written offering for public perusal is not quite the same thing as throwing yourself in front of a fast moving train. Well, not quite.

Identity, community, and traditions were the 3 topics I did not expect to find waiting for me under class assignments. I had expected to see outsiders, outcasts, and outlaws, as listed in the course description. What I discovered, however, after getting into the meat and potatoes of the class, is that the study of outsiders, outcasts, and outlaws is an excellent way to get a fix on identity, community, and traditions. Sometimes studying the exceptions clarifies the rules better than studying the rules themselves, and as in this case, it certainly provides greater enjoyment.

Taking this diversity class has taught me a good deal about the impact our communities have on helping to define our individuality. Community is the platform behind which we hide, upon which we stand, or from which we launch. Response to community relies upon us, but how we are defined rests ultimately with others—with our community. Further, this diversity class showed me that a person can be defined equally by a lack of community—in other words, by being an outcast—as by having one, and that the results can be equally as devastating. I have also come to understand that tradition often creates a filter through which we live our lives and influences the success of our connection to our present and past communities. For, tradition bridges our past, present, and future communities.

I hope that you enjoy my portfolio. I hope that at the end of your walk through this collection of papers, you take away at least a little understanding of who I am--and maybe a little better understanding of who you are too.